it still hurts sometimes

We had lunch in a great Japanese restaurant along Katipunan today. Katsu Café has awesome curry and miso soup, and it's cheaper than Yabu. (which has excellent katsudon and curry, by the way)

I really liked the miso soup. Peach-flavored Sola iced tea is yummy.

Here's a poem I wrote in the restaurant while I watched Lola eat. This is for Lola, my hero in a skirt.

I smell the miso soup and curry

though its bowl’s contents 

have been long licked away

I see you when I look at her

Her eyes that wander and eyes that sigh

longing for you as I do.

Maybe even more.

She waits and speaks and fights.

I wonder if she wants to be with you yet

I hope not, because I need her still but 

I need you, too.

It’s selfish, but I am speaking my mind.

The pain I felt

three weeks ago when I remembered you was physical

My breath came in short puffs 

and the tears pricked and the leaves swayed 

as I looked out the dirty window.

Maybe I was expecting you to swoop down, hug me, 

and tell me you were sorry 

for leaving so soon.

So, so soon.

It’s time to go, so I touch the small of her back lightly 

and help her into the car

something you used to do.

I am not angry.

But it hurts.

Knowing that you never saw me dance 

or play the piano 

or walk up the stage to receive my diploma

Knowing that I’ll never be Princess Aurora 

and you’ll never be Prince Philip or the dragon again

Knowing that as long as the sun rises and the moon smiles

I’ll still be here

without you

I love her.

Know that.

So for you, Lolo*, I’ll take care of her as well as I can

because I know it will make you smile

and that will make me smile too but I still miss you

and it still hurts sometimes.

*Lolo - grandfather

Finally tried eating at the Old Oven Art Café today. I had dinner with my family there, and let me tell you, I can't not come back. 

I loved the atmosphere of the café, very cozy and well, artsy. The walls were decorated with interesting artworks and other crafty, handmade decorations. Old music was playing, and there was a guitar waiting for anyone to pick it up and strum its nylon strings.

I really liked that Mona Lisa painting.

A guestbook filled with doodles and short notes from happy customers.

I am in love with this sailboat-themed tic-tac-toe set. There also other little games to play and books to read while waiting for your food to come.

The taste of the food? Go figure.

Of course, I left a mark on the guestbook. You might not be able to see it clearly, but it's a little girl with a band-aid on her right cheek painting in a sailboat. I wrote down my poetry blog username beside her and 'John 5:24' near the bottom of the sailboat. The handwritings of the people who wrote in that thing made me feel insecure. They're like fonts, okay.

Make A Joyful Noise

I'm one of those people who rarely get sick, seriously. I honestly don't remember the last time I had a fever. But this is one of those rare times when I do get sick. I've been absent from school for two days already because I've been coughing. If it were up to me, I'd be in ballet right now. It's just a cough, nothing serious, and I don't feel weak at all, but Mom's the boss.

It was nice, though, staying home from school. I got to do the things I normally don't have time to do. Watch anime and sleep. I fell asleep yesterday with aircon (which isn't normally turned on in our house) listening to classical music. Bliss. 

I did pretty much the same thing today, except I drew because I have a couple of paintings to give for birthdays. I brought up a bowl of cookies and a cup of hot green tea to keep me company while I drew.

The anime I've been watching is called La Corda d'Oro. It's basically about a girl, Kahoko, who's given a magical violin by a music fairy and suddenly finds herself joining the music division of her school's concours, or music competition, even though she has no experience in music. The violin can be played by anyone, and Kahoko was chosen by the fairy because she was the only who could see it.

There was an episode in the anime during the concours in which Kahoko played too hard and broke the strings of the violin, losing all of its magic. Lili, the fairy, told her it had happened because the violin was a mirror of her feelings. Kahoko hadn't been playing the violin with a good attitude. She had been playing too rashly, and only wanted to play well in order to match the talent of the other contestants. She wasn't enjoying music anymore.

In the same way, we should always have a good and thankful heart when worshipping God. I hope that, especially for those of you who play in the music team, worshipping and playing in church, youth service, chapel, etc. won't be a routine or just something you do. I hope that before you play or sing, you won't think, "Here we go again. Okay, Lord, make this work." I haven't reached that point yet, and I hope I never do.

I've been reading 1 Chronicles and picked up a lot of things about worshipping God and how important it is to minister to others through music. In the Levites were the chosen ones for this significant role. They had to sing praises every morning and evening, prophesy, and lots of other things. They were told to "sing joyful songs, accompanied by musical instruments: lyres, harps, and cymbals." (1 Chronicles 15:16)

Always remember to worship Him joyfully. You're entering His presence when you worship. What's there not to be joyful and grateful about? "David and all the Israelites were celebrating with all their might before God, with songs and with harps, lyres, tambourines, cymbals, and trumpets." (1 Chronicles 13:8)

That's all I have to say for now. I will leave you this photo Dad e-mailed me from the airport an hour ago. It made my day. Can't wait for him to come home!

Unlocked

"So have no fear of them, for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known." Matthew 10:26